Choices: The power of "Or"

Disruptive or destructive behavior is often a cry for control. Many individuals with disabilities have such high barriers to communication, compounded by sensory overload, that the right to make even the most basic of decisions is stripped from them on a regular basis. Behavioral training is sometimes essential but caregivers must remember a student may simply feel overwhelmed. Choices are the key to good behavior because the word “or” empowers a student. Giving students choices, even between very similar items or activities, allows them a sense of control over their environment. Caregivers may be surprised that simply asking which pair of scissors or what color paper is preferred can improve a student’s behavior. Many decisions should and will remain out of a student’s control, but there are almost endless ways to build options into the day if a caregiver develops a habit of offering choices. Keep in mind that the choice should never be to work or not to work! Examples of simple choices: Which cup would you like to drink from? Would you like to go on the blue swing or the yellow one? Which shoe should we put on first? Would you like to listen “How Many”? or “Letter Sounds”?

It may take time and practice to understand what “or” means. A student may not understand that a choice is being offered since it has never been directly taught. Children with autism and other delays may become stuck in a pattern, such as always choosing what is offered last. If this is the case, occasionally offer a preferred item, like an m&m candy, first and a non- preferred item, like a slice of lemon, second. Then let the student live with his or her choice. If need be, offer the choice again, in the same order, a few minutes later.